Do you think I should have made more improvement by now?
I used to suffer from horrible Anxiety/panic/phobia, about 6 months or so ago it was so bad I couldn’t go further than the end of my street without a cell phone and bottle of water, i’d just panic and hyperventilate and feel like I was going to pass out or die, But after a while I started talking to an acupuncturist who taught me allot about Buddhism and meditation, and now I can ride my bike about 2 miles without feeling the need to have water, I do the grocery shopping alone for my family, and I can drive about 20 miles If i need, The only thing is sometimes I’m really afraid to be home alone, and I feel the urge to take a water bottle and cell phone when I have to go on long drives and stuff. Also i spent my first paycheck on a GPS system because I’m really scared to get lost in places i don’t know, I’ve never taken any medication or anything, Do you think I should have improved more in the past 6 months?
Is your glass have empty or is it half full?
You have improved, and that is worthy of your focus. These things take time … you are undoing years, perhaps decades of conditioning, of creating deep ruts in the pathways that habitual thoughts and emotions make in your brain. These things are not undone in a short period of time. Be patient … the fact that you have seen improvement means that you are on the right track.
I’m sure that 6 months of effort are small compared to the number of years you have been alive, creating these strong chemically-based pathways in your brain. Be patient, it might take as long as you have been alive to totally re-create who you are … but what else are you going to do with your time, anyway?
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