How can I loose these suicidal thoughts?
Okay, I get suicidal thoughts pretty often. I have extremely low self esteem and suffer from social anxiety. Trust me I know suicide is selfish but I the thoughts still come. Little embarrassing things trigger them but at the same time bad memories from my past resurface and just haunt me constantly. I don’t ever talk to my mom about this because once she was watching Dr. Phil and they were talking about teen suicide and she said, “Something like that wouldn’t and shouldn’t ever happen to our family” so I felt guilty for having those thoughts and it’s just a cycle. I admit I am overly sensitive and can take criticism personally but please give me constructive criticism because even though I won’t kill myself the desire to keeps getting stronger and I don’t want to be in hell eternally (or at all really).
When I say I know what your going through, I really mean it. I have been dealing with this same issue for the past 5 years. Its hard I know. Unwanted suicidal thoughts are something a person never wants. I will tell you my story in hopes you find some sort of help and can seek the help that you need.
I had suicidal thoughts like I said for the past 5 years. I didn’t want to kill myself but the thoughts wouldn’t go away. They kept coming back no matter how hard I tried to keep them away. Little urges and triggers would make me think of the thoughts. It was just up until april of last year that I told my mom about my suicidal thoughts. At first yes, she was upset because she didn’t want to see me hurt and she was upset with herself thinking she did something wrong. But looking back, it was the smartest thing to tell her. I have always had an anxiety disorder but telling my mom about it and finding out that I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) made my life better because I got on the right medication that I needed. And the thoughts have gone away! It was such a relief after taking the medicine for about a couple weeks I could feel my brain start to have less pressure or something lol My doctor also sent me to a therapist and she helped alot! Talking about how you feel releases your mind and she helped to make me think better!
So it does get better after you tell someone and get the help you need. Don’t be ashamed because you can’t help having unwanted thoughts. Keep your head up and be strong and take control of your life.
I hope this has helped you!
I wish you the best!
you can always email or message me if you want to discuss this further or have any questions. 
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